Category Archives: Nancy Joyce

It’s All Good – Sexual Fantasies: A Playground for Your Pleasure




For my second column I was going to start delving into specific topics but then this article passed through my social media feed, “When It Comes to Sexual Fantasies, What’s Normal?”


Hmmm…normal, really, that’s the word we want to use there?


Since this touches on a number of topics I may cover as we go, I decided to address this right up front. So what is “normal” when it comes to sexual fantasies?



Anything. Seriously, anything. I said everything was okay as long as you were comfortable with it, right? Well, in fantasy you can go even further and play with things you may well not be comfortable with in real life. Which is the important thing to focus on in this study, no matter how poorly worded it is. If you think the things that get you aroused are odd or weird or perverse, you just need to remember you’re not the only one who likes them; just because you like to watch things or read things that seem out of the ordinary, it doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you.


Fantasy is a safe zone. It can take you away to a different place where you feel safer and bolder than you are in real life. It can let you investigate things that intrigue you but that you would find too intimidating to try. Fantasies of dominance, submission, bondage and discipline are far more common than you think. It may mean this is something that speaks to a deeper part of you, but that part may be well served by reading a hot erotic novel or some fanfic and then letting your partner reap the benefits of your fantasies without ever having to indulge them.


blindfold seat


It may also be a way to dip your toe in the water of something that secretly excites you but scares the living hell out of you too. A way of pushing your own boundaries safely, without external pressures. If there is one thing I keep coming back to it’s that your sexuality should always be under your control, even if you’re relinquishing it by choice.


So if sex is how adults play, fantasy is the indoor playground you visit on rainy days. A place to try something different on for size. You may find you like it or you may find you hate it, but because it’s all within the realm of your own mind, there is never any harm done.


So go play, it’s good for you.



It’s All Good – A Geek Girl’s Guide to Love and Sex

*New Column Alert!

nancy column


I want to open this, my first sex column, by saying that when I say this is a “geek girl’s guide to love and sex” that’s only because I am a geek girl and I am writing it from my point of view. I would trust that many non-geek women would share many of the same hopes, fears and hungers as I do, so don’t feel excluded by the title. What do I want to talk about? Well, everything, of course. Mostly I just want to say that whatever you like, whatever you’re into, whatever gets you off, it’s OK. Seriously. Women aren’t really taught that.

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‘X-Men’ Director Bryan Singer Accused of Sexually Abusing a Minor Again – LAPD Ignored 1999 Allegations

Director, Bryan Singer
Director, Bryan Singer

Photo via Facebook

X-Men director Bryan Singer faces allegations that he sexually abused a 15 year old boy in a lawsuit filed in federal court Wednesday. The suit alleges that Singer forcibly sodomized Michael Egan (now in his 30s), when he was 15 and that they had numerous sexual encounters over the next two years. The suit describes parties at a California mansion where drugs and liquor were used to take advantage of young boys sexually.

The lawsuit is quite graphic in describing the main incident, stating that Singer plied the plaintiff drugs and alcohol in order to allegedly sexually and psychologically abuse Egan.


“…an alcoholic beverage . . . and mentioned finding a role for him in an upcoming movie that he was directing.. Defendant Singer solicited plaintiff to perform oral sex upon him, which plaintiff resisted…Singer flagrantly disregarded plaintiff’s unwillingness to submit, and forced plaintiff’s head underwater to make plaintiff perform oral sex upon him. When plaintiff pulled his head out of the water in order to breathe, defendant Singer demanded that he continue which plaintiff refused…Defendant Singer then forced plaintiff to continue performing oral sex upon him outside of the pool, and subsequently forcibly sodomized plaintiff.”

A lawyer for Singer issued a statement which states in part,

“The claims made against Bryan Singer are completely without merit… We are very confident that Bryan will be vindicated in this absurd and defamatory lawsuit.”

Egan’s lawyer is Jeff Herman, known for bringing suit against Elmo puppeteer, Kevin Clash.  He stated,

“Hollywood has a problem with the sexual exploitation of children…This is the first of many cases I will be filing to give these victims a voice and to expose the issue.”


While Singer has not been directly accused of abuse of a minor before, there were allegations of inappropriate handling of minor actors’ nudity on the set of Singer’s film, Apt Pupil,  wherein three young actors were allegedly told to disrobe completely for a scene without warning. The actors’ families brought a lawsuit against the production company that was later settled. It’s important to note that the LAPD was made aware of the accusations back in 1999, as per Variety’s article.

While this suit has not yet gone to court it is just the latest in a long line of tales of Hollywood star-makers leveraging their power over young people to exploit them sexually and emotionally. Going back to the Roman Polanski incident in the 70s, it seems that the casting couch has become even more insidious for minors. Drugs, liquor and promises of fame are used to oppress and abuse these children and youths when they are far from willing participants.

For years there have been whispers that a certain Nickelodeon mega hit producer has allegedly sexually victimized many of the stars of his shows. Power corrupts, but it seems if even a fraction of the stories that slip out are true, the people in power in Hollywood were probably pretty damn corrupt when they got to power.  Not helping the abusive culture are many of the stage parents who seem more than willing to whore their children out to ride the fame they may get in return.

Marc Collins-Rector's 2007 Mugshot
Marc Collins-Rector’s 2007 Mugshot


Also disturbing is the naming of Marc Collins-Rector, former chairman of the Digital Entertainment Network, in the Singer suit as well. Collins-Rector has been convicted of sexual crimes against minors in the past according to Variety.  Even if Singer is cleared of the accusations there is some level of guilt by association that has to be questioned.  Who knows that these  go on? Everyone? If so, those who don’t stop them are just as guilty as the perpetrators themselves.

Let it be noted, that a handful of folks in Hollywood are referring to these most recent accusations of abuse as nothing more than a “shakedown“.  I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

What are your thoughts? Innocent until proven guilty? Or is Hollywood (and everyone involved, past and present) merely sweeping sexual abuse under the red carpet once again?