Category Archives: Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday Matthew and Gunnar Nelson – ‘Those Chicks Look Like Dudes’

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Oh, Matthew and Gunnar Nelson.  Look at you in your fancy Mom Jeans (that’s jealousy talkin’ right there) and long, luxurious blond hair.  WEN Haircare System wasn’t even a twinkle in Chaz Deans’s special place back when these twins tortured us with their perfect Rapunzelness.

And to quote my favorite pop cultured erudite, Butthead, Those chicks look like dudes.”

Come to Butthead.

So yeah.  Happy 47th birthday, you twin butt-munches.  Lord, I miss the innocence of the early 90’s.

Courtney Love is 50 Today, You People – By Guest Contributing Writer Mary, Behind the Red Curtain

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Courtney Love, everyone’s nightmare wife, is turning 50 today, the same day I hear the news that Ryan Gosling, everyone’s perfect boyfriend*, will have a child with Eva Mendes. How God could fill my head with so much conflicting news in one day… Courtney, still thinking she can reclaim her title of Rock Queen/Queen Bitch, perennially down for the count, downed by drugs, drowned by alcohol, downed by narcissism and madness- forced to watch stupider, more reasonable women take the crown she wore on “Live Through This”.

Every year a rumored triumphant return, every year a let down. Meanwhile Ryan has found a women worthy of love and impregnation, a woman who will not be smoking, shooting up, and giving foul mouthed interviews to Rolling Stone and Vanity Fair while she has a child In Utero. No, an actress of some talent, Eva will be looking more and more like a blow-up Sophia Loren until her waist disappears and she has to wear sensible flats while Ryan adorably accompanies her to Lamaze class.

 

As a former punk fighting to age without displaying too much dignity, I root for Courtney every time she dusts herself off. As a proud grandmother, myself, I am happy there will be one more Love child and one less Son of Anarchy.

Now all the women sing along with us! One more…

And how ’bout an round of applause for our Gorgeous Mary…over there. Behind the David Lynchian red velvet curtain.

Mary, Queen of Drapes
Mary, Queen of Drapes

Happy Birthday, Angelina Jolie!

Angelina Jolie, presented with a 'Maleficent' birthday cake in Shanghai
Angelina Jolie, presented with a ‘Maleficent’ birthday cake in Shanghai

We here at Dipped in Cream really do love Angie. We love her Hayseed, Brad Pitt, too. We love her kids. We love her French chateau. (I’m saying all that in Antoine (“Hide Yo Kids”) Dodson’s intonation, FYI.) But we DO love her!

The Beautiful One is 39 years old today. Let’s take a look at our girl through the years, shall we?

Angie-Wings

‘Maleficent’ – I’d actually like this photograph mounted and framed over my mantle. Too much? I don’t think so.

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Angie rolling in the grass for Rolling Stone

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St. Angelina

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The first appearance of ‘Angie’s Leg’ at the Golden Globes

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The perfect pregnant woman…

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Angie’s super-short hair after completing ‘GIA’

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Angie’s Golden Globe winning performance for ‘GIA’ on HBO

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Our favorite Bad Girl Angie

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And this is where it alllll began. Mr. and Mrs. Hotty McSexySmith

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Angie’s Oscar-winning performance of Lisa in ‘Girl Interrupted’

Which Angie persona is YOUR favorite? Did I leave any out?