Category Archives: Full-Body Eyeroll

Did Angelina Jolie Slam Gwyneth Paltrow?

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This really makes me squeal like a little girl, you guys. Remember when Paltrow announced her “conscious uncoupling” from Chris Martin? Of course you do. (That idiotic phrase of hers makes me want to yank out a fistful of her hair, by the way.) She then went on to tell the world how hard she has it as a single mom who works as an actress in Hollywood. Really. It’s super, super HARD:

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“It’s much harder for me,” mother-to-two Paltrow, 41, said. “I think it’s different when you have an office job, because it’s routine and, you know, you can do all the stuff in the morning and then you come home in the evening.”

“When you’re shooting a movie, they’re like, ‘We need you to go to Wisconsin for two weeks,’ and then you work 14 hours a day and that part of it is very difficult,” she continued. “I think to have a regular job and be a mom is not as… of course there are challenges, but it’s not like being on set.”

This entitled piece of gluten-free white bread.  Seriously? So yesterday, Angelina Jolie was promoting the shit out Maleficent like nobody’s bidness, and gracefully made the following statement:

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“I’m not a single mom with two jobs trying to get by every day,” the Maleficent star said. “I have much more support than most people, most women in this world. And I have the financial means to have a home and health care and food.. “I actually feel that women in my position, when we have all at our disposal to help us, shouldn’t complain,” Jolie, who is worth a reported combined $270 million with Pitt, said. “Consider all the people who really struggle and don’t have the financial means, don’t have the support, and many people are single raising children. That’s hard.”

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HAHAHAHAHAAAAA! Oh, Paltrow. THIS is how it’s done. Dumbass.

Let’s Discuss That Whole Solange, Jay Z, Beyonce Elevator Mess

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Two days ago, I started writing about the now infamous elevator tussle (?) wherein Solange Knowles tried to kick the crap out of her brother-in-law Jay Z, while her sister, Beyonce just stood and watched it all go down, but then I just stopped writing. I couldn’t get myself into all of the what if’s and why’s.

The video, which TMZ paid upwards of $250,000 for obtained, can be viewed HERE if you somehow, on God’s Green Earth, haven’t seen the blurry footage yet.

Keep smilin', Bey.
Keep smilin’, Bey.

Families fight, we can all agree to that, yes? Personally speaking, my family members prefer the passive-aggressive freeze-out after some nasty words are spit out, so we all have our own special methods of dysfunction. The thing about Beyonce is that she’s done her level best to throw a sheen of perfection on everything she says, does, and sings about. Even her beautiful ballad, “Flaws and All” is, well, FLAWLESS.

Rumors are flying every which way as to why Solange lost her shit in the elevator.  Some say she had too much to drink, some say she was merely tipsy. Some say Jay was straight up trying to party with Rihanna while his wife was being sent home, and Solange wasn’t having any of it. The only people who truly know what was shouted in that elevator are the four people inside that closed space. (Remember, bodyguard Julian was there to hold Solange back from Jay Z.)

I have some questions, for YOU, my Dollies.

"Don't look at me! I'm hideous!" JUST KIDDING.
“Don’t look at me! I’m hideous!” JUST KIDDING.

Should there be public outrage (see Chris Brown)  that Solange attacked Jay Z in the first place? Do we applaud Jay Z for not fighting back? Who acts like this after the Met Gala? Do we just love to see a REAL Behind the Scenes clip of the Perfect Carter/Knowles Family–as opposed to the HBO version Beyonce gave us in “Life Is But A Dream”? Beyonce prides herself on being real, but that “documentary” was ridiculous. Wigs, fake baby bellies, “no make-up, I wake up looking this FLAWLESS“-pseudo perfection. I was in Full-Body Eyeroll-mode for two hours. Go look at Bey’s Instagram account. It’s PERFECT, right down to the Pepsi product placement, snuggly pics of Jay, and yes, lots of shots of li’l sister Solange. (I hear-tell Solange deleted all photos of Beyonce on HER Instagram account, though.) We’re really getting some 7th grade girl behavior hard.

Anyway. What. The. HELL, you guys? I need your help on this.

Barbara Walters’s ‘Most Fascinating’ List Feels Familiar And Boring

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Barbara Walters will be doing her last end of the year special for ABC this year, and you’d think she would want to go out with a bang. For the 2013 edition of ‘Barbara Walters Presents: The 10 Most Fascinating People of the Year,’she went for boring and annoying instead.

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Miley Cyrus is on the list, because, ugh, as is Jennifer Lawrence, because I guess we’re stuck with her until some other white girl is forced upon us. Then there’s the cast of A&E‘s ‘Duck Dynasty,’ ABC News‘ own Robin Roberts and NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden. If you’ve been paying attention to any of Kanye West‘s nonsensical rants of late (Ed. Note: Of always?), you remember he said that he thinks his daughter North deserves to be thought of as royalty, or some mess like that. So he’ll be happy that he and his fiancee Kim Kardashian were included with Prince George of Cambridge, whose uncle Harry was featured on the list last year.

Walters will reveal her pick for the most fascinating person of the year during the 90 minute special which will air on December 18 at 9:30 p.m. ET on ABC. Who do you think it will be this year? Maybe she’ll pull a Time magazine and tell the world it’s us.