Category Archives: Dumbass

Charlize Theron Says Press Coverage Feels ‘Like RAPE’


These bitches. First we had The Insufferable One (Paltrow) saying “the internet is like a bloody war” and now the other snippy, tall blonde actress, Charlize Theron compares the attention she gets from the press, paparazzi or Google (?) as “feel[ing] like rape”. I’m sorry, WHAT?


“I don’t do that, so that’s my saving grace,” Theron said when asked if she Googles herself. “When you start living in that world, and doing that, you start feeling raped.”

Questioned further about the blunt comparison, the 38-year-old actress added: “Well, when it comes to your son and your private life. Maybe it’s just me.”


Let’s remember for a moment just who Ms. Theron is now dating (if that’s the proper verb)…serial-woman abuserSean Penn.

Listen, I get using metaphors and I understand being overly-dramatic at times, howEVER. Stating that having your picture taken or being written about on celebrity websites does not a rape make. A camera flashing in your face is not assault. (Your boyfriend might show you what assault really is someday, but that’s another story for another day.)

Fame And Philanthropy Post-Oscar Party

Getty Images

These people need to THINK before using harmful language that lessens actual rape. Or actual war. Celebrities for the most part are pampered, overpaid and overindulged adults who get to play pretend for a living. Simply put? Shut up or get out and find a REAL job that pays under $10 per hour, Charlize. 


RAINN: The nation’s largest anti-sexual violence organization.
One of “America’s 100 Best Charities” -Worth magazine

If you or someone you know is in need of sexual assault counseling and assistance, please call RAINN.

Coming Soon: Ryan Lochte Reality Show

Ryan Derrrpte.


In an attempt to stretch Olympic fame, swimming gold medalist Ryan Lochte is shooting a reality show for the E! network.

According to Gossip Cop it will follow every aspect of his life, from training for the 2016 Olympic Games to his search for Mrs. Right.

Lochte and his management team have made no secret of his desire to break into the entertainment industry. After scoring cameos in a few network shows, he spoke about participating in The Bachelor or Dancing With Stars.

I think his own show, with scripts crafted to downplay his weaknesses (insert your own dumb as * joke here) and which will allow HEAVY editing is a smart move for him.

Lochte hails from my current neck of the woods (by all accounts he is exactly as he appears)  so I might get a chance for some first hand reporting.

What Would Ryan Lochte Do? (yes, the jokes pretty much write themselves) will premiere in April.


GQ’s LEAST Influential People Of The Year – Brittani’s Thoughts


Post Halloween, I don’t really care for the holidays and all the supposed cheer it brings. I especially loathe all of the year end lists, but GQ put together one that I think we can all appreciate.

The magazine states that the list isa collection of people so uninspiring that we should round them all up and stick them on an iceberg. Please note that these folks are ranked in no particular order, because all zeros are created equal.”

Even though the 25 people on it aren’t ranked, Mitt Romney is the first person to pop up.The only successful thing he did this year was embody every black stand-up comedian’s impression of a white person.”  Truer words have never been spoken.



My former “boyfriend”, and thankfully for Diva Julia it was a very short crush, Ryan Lochte may have abs of steel but he has a brain made out of brick.  They described him as “the U.S. swimmer who managed to increase the Ashton Kutcher-ness of the London Games by 80 percent.”



You know, I actually like ‘Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives,’ but the worst part of it has always been Guy Fieri‘s stupid catchphrases (“Duhhh…I’d eat that Velveeta cheese sauce off a FLIP-FLOP! HARRR HARRR HARRR!”), backwards sunglasses, dumb spiky peroxided hair and well, flip-flops in other people’s kitchens. His latest venture, Guy’s American Kitchen and Bar, was mercilessly skewered by a New York Times food critic which promoted way too many people to jump to his defense.


Even though he won an Academy Award for writing ‘The Social Network,’ Aaron Sorkin‘s dialogue has always left me exhausted and annoyed. He has another successful show under his belt with ‘Newsroom,’ GQ perfectly puts it, Watching an Aaron Sorkin show is like someone force-reading you the Huffington Post.”


Also making the list are First Lady Michelle Obama (who really doesn’t belong on this list–God forbid she get your fat kids to exercise)Madonna, wearing her cheerleader uniform, new Laker, Dwight HowardAmanda Bynes and George Zimmerman. 

Check out the rest of the list here!