According to several sources (most notably: TMZ), Paul Walker has died in a violent LA car accident, an irony to end all ironies. Walker is best known for being a key part of the ‘Fast and Furious’ franchise and ‘She’s All That’. Shock and horror are currently pulsing through the internet at both the tragic circumstances of his death, as well as Paul’s sadly young age (40 yrs). He leaves behind one child, a daughter, Meadow. More news as it comes.
*Paul’s rep has apparently confirmed his death, in said Santa Clarita accident, following a charity event. R.I.P.
Tragically, this is not a cruel death- hoax, as Paul Walker’s reps (via Facebook) and Variety, have now posted the sad news.
“Most recently, Walker was in production on the seventh installment of the “Fast and Furious” franchise — an eerie reality given the nature of his death. The street racing franchise is Universal’s most valuable active pic franchise. Walker’s death will undoubtedly leave a significant void in the pic now in production and subsequent installments.”
Obviously, Amanda didn’t get a chance to check out Dipped In Cream and appreciate the message that I put so much time and effort into for her, because she was pulled over again last night — this time for driving without her headlights on.
Nevermind, the sheer stupidity of that indiscretion, but need I remind you that Amanda’s license is currently suspended? Apparently this isn’t a concern for the LAPD, because last night she was simply given a verbal warning and sent on her way. Some rookie cop is gonna get his ass handed to him for that one.
Or maybe not. At this point, I can’t help but feel that Amanda has been repeatedly escaping each of these situations that would have landed anyone else in jail. Where is her second mugshot? Where is the footage of her sobbing in court? Where is her 45 minutes spend in a jail cell due to “overcrowding“? Any day now, people.
It seems to me that the LAPD needs to get their shit together almost as much as Amanda does.
But hey, at least she wasn’t (visibly) intoxicated this time. Baby steps…
Recently, Amanda Bynes has decided to grab life by the steering wheel and enjoy her own personal live-action game of bumper cars. At least, that’s the only plausible explanation I can conjure up as to why she has been involved in FIVE hit-and-run car accidents in recent months. I also toyed with the idea that she has found herself temporarily blind without realizing it, or that she’s decided to attempt the Lindsay Lohan method of throwing herself back into the limelight.
After all, other than her bizarre tweets, odd appearance, and underwhelming role alongside Emma Stone in Easy A, Amanda Bynes has more or less dropped off the media’s radar since she appeared in the 2007 remake of John Waters’Hairspray. It was also around this time that she seemed to be taking her Hairspray character a little bit too seriously. Amanda portrayed the updated version of Penny Pingleton, the naive daughter of a straight-laced, racist, religious zealot of a mother who rebels by dating a black guy. Around the time that the film was released and being promoted, Amanda’s increasingly eccentric tweets began to touch on the fact that she recently discovered that she actually prefers “chocolate” over “vanilla”. And I don’t think I need to tell you that she wasn’t talking about her Ben And Jerry’s preference. Amanda even went so far as to tweet a quote taken directly from a scene in Hairspray when Penny lays a huge kiss on her new boyfriend on live television, looks directly into the camera and proclaims, “I am now a checkerboard chick!” Oh, honey. This isn’t 1960’s Baltimore. Take a seat.
Eventually, as all the dots were connected, it came out that the “chocolate” man in question was a hip-hop artist by the name of Scott Mescudi, better known as KiD CuDi who had recently been dipping his toe into this pool of crazy. He even made mention of Amanda on his track ‘Cudderisback‘ where he raps:
Wanna get up in my mind / Wanna know about me and Amanda Bynes (Amanda please) / Wanna know really, really, really who I’m datin’ / Is she civilian or super duper famous?
He also seemed to realize what he was getting himself into shortly after his business was broadcast across twitter for the world to see, and took a few steps back. Okay, maybe a few miles. Good move, Scott. Run.
I guess it’s safe to assume that Amanda kept to herself and decided to quietly drown her sorrows in ice cream (vanilla..?) from this humiliating public heartbreak, because there wasn’t much to be reported about when it came to her after that. Until April of this year, when the TMZ gods graced us with this gem:
Ah yes, the lilac-haired ingenue lookin’ a supremely hot mess in her very first mugshot. Not particularly shocking considering TMZ posted this video only weeks beforehand:
Honestly, if the guys from TMZ are willing to sacrifice a story in order to tell you that you’re too drunk to drive — you are too fucking drunk to drive.
Naturally, Amanda didn’t spend too long in jail because that’s what happens when your name is recognizable in Hollywood, and your bank account always has enough money in it to bail your ass out of trouble. But at least she learned her lesson, right? Of course not.
Since that fateful night in April, Amanda Bynes has reportedly been in three additional hit-and-run accidents. Her second was only days later! Each was reported on, but nobody ever seemed to care enough to press charges. True to form, Amanda took to her twitter account to clear up the “rumors” going so far as to tweet at the President.
I don’t even have anything witty to say about this because I think it more than speaks for itself.
But as with all great tales of celebrity trainwrecks, something’s gotta give. After Amanda rear-ended yet another car just last week, and fled the scene, police finally decided against letting her continue to cruise around in her Range Rover, slamming into other innocent motorists and suspended her license. She has also been formally charged with misdemeanor hit-and-runs and will face up to a year in jail.
So what have we learned here today? Besides the fact that you can’t flee the scene of a crime with a recognizable face..
Kidding aside, Amanda Bynes is still denying that these incidents occurred, and also says that she doesn’t drink. If she is actually convinced herself that she’s telling the truth, then there is a much bigger problem at hand. So I’d like to say this, Amanda to Amanda: Take a breather. Maybe rework your twitter game. Experiment with some new ice cream flavors. Maybe a TV role? You used to be so funny! But it comes down to this, girl, you have a drinking problem. And you need to address that. And also maybe get your ass a town car with a driver.