Category Archives: Beyonce

The BET Awards Were Mostly Enjoyable, Thanks To Chris Rock

chris

Either you decided to skip this year’s BET Awards in favor of Sunday night’s other programming, or you sat through all four hours with the rest of us and watched host Chris Rock go in on the likes of Rick Ross and big winner August Alsina, whom he called the “Sideshow Bob of Hip-Hop.”

August Alsina
August Alsina

He threw shade like he was pitching in the World Series all night, and was, for me anyways, the most entertaining part of the show. One of his bits included venturing out to a monster truck rally to see if folks there even knew what BET was. Instead of handing out pizza, like Ellen Degeneres did at this year’s Academy Awards, he gave the audience meals from Roscoe’s House of Chicken and Waffles, but joked that Ross should get a salad. Let’s hope Chris made it home safe last night. Continue Reading

Beyonce’s Braids – Jane Child Did It Better In 1989

Bey in NYC
Bey in NYC

I have a gotdamn headache already without looking at those heavy-ass braids, y’all. I can barely put my mess into a ponytail without getting a migraine, but sometimes I need the “My Ponytail’s Too Tight Face-Lift that’s MY trademark, so don’t EVEN. You know what I’m talking about though, don’t you.. Pretty sure I need a Lifestyle Lift, but I REALLY want a LaJolla Lift.

Anyway. I STILL don’t know if Jay-Z was in attendance at that particular wedding that sullied ALL of Paris and especially Florence, but I do know Queen Bey stayed HOME and spent 5 days (maybe?) in a chair getting them braids attached to her melon.

Queen of the Long Braids, Jane Child
Queen of the Long Braids, Jane Child

But come ON. We all know who owns the Long Braids Game. Jane Child, circa 1989. (Also? I’m OLD.)

Excuse me while I dance in front of a wall and pound on it with my fists. It’s my signature move.