Category Archives: Beating a Dead Horse

Beyonce’s Braids – Jane Child Did It Better In 1989

Bey in NYC
Bey in NYC

I have a gotdamn headache already without looking at those heavy-ass braids, y’all. I can barely put my mess into a ponytail without getting a migraine, but sometimes I need the “My Ponytail’s Too Tight Face-Lift that’s MY trademark, so don’t EVEN. You know what I’m talking about though, don’t you.. Pretty sure I need a Lifestyle Lift, but I REALLY want a LaJolla Lift.

Anyway. I STILL don’t know if Jay-Z was in attendance at that particular wedding that sullied ALL of Paris and especially Florence, but I do know Queen Bey stayed HOME and spent 5 days (maybe?) in a chair getting them braids attached to her melon.

Queen of the Long Braids, Jane Child
Queen of the Long Braids, Jane Child

But come ON. We all know who owns the Long Braids Game. Jane Child, circa 1989. (Also? I’m OLD.)

Excuse me while I dance in front of a wall and pound on it with my fists. It’s my signature move.

Lindsay Lohan Is Due In NYC Court Monday Morning. Will She Show?

Lindsay and the woman she allegedly smacked up, Tiffany the Psychic


With a court date in New York fast approaching, Lindsay Lohan let off a little steam last night/this morning by partying in London with a few friends until 5:00 AM.

 LiLo has been ordered to appear in a NYC court on Monday … a result of her run-in with a psychic in a New York club back in November.

 Lohan will be there to answer a desk appearance ticket, so a number of things could happen — a future court date could be set, she could enter a plea … those are just a few of the options.

 If she doesn’t show, a warrant will be issued for her arrest.

So.  Is  this raggedy, rough and overwrought nutcase going to show up to court?  Will she get even MORE probation?  Not for one second do I believe she’ll be punished in any way for violating probation or breaking any laws–again.

I have to say, Lindsay’s relationship with attorneys and judges is similar to her relationship with her parents.  Linds says it’s not her fault; everyone throws up their hands and dismisses her to go out and do more damage.