Category Archives: As IF

Did Angelina Jolie Slam Gwyneth Paltrow?


This really makes me squeal like a little girl, you guys. Remember when Paltrow announced her “conscious uncoupling” from Chris Martin? Of course you do. (That idiotic phrase of hers makes me want to yank out a fistful of her hair, by the way.) She then went on to tell the world how hard she has it as a single mom who works as an actress in Hollywood. Really. It’s super, super HARD:


“It’s much harder for me,” mother-to-two Paltrow, 41, said. “I think it’s different when you have an office job, because it’s routine and, you know, you can do all the stuff in the morning and then you come home in the evening.”

“When you’re shooting a movie, they’re like, ‘We need you to go to Wisconsin for two weeks,’ and then you work 14 hours a day and that part of it is very difficult,” she continued. “I think to have a regular job and be a mom is not as… of course there are challenges, but it’s not like being on set.”

This entitled piece of gluten-free white bread.  Seriously? So yesterday, Angelina Jolie was promoting the shit out Maleficent like nobody’s bidness, and gracefully made the following statement:


“I’m not a single mom with two jobs trying to get by every day,” the Maleficent star said. “I have much more support than most people, most women in this world. And I have the financial means to have a home and health care and food.. “I actually feel that women in my position, when we have all at our disposal to help us, shouldn’t complain,” Jolie, who is worth a reported combined $270 million with Pitt, said. “Consider all the people who really struggle and don’t have the financial means, don’t have the support, and many people are single raising children. That’s hard.”


HAHAHAHAHAAAAA! Oh, Paltrow. THIS is how it’s done. Dumbass.

‘X-Men’ Director Bryan Singer Accused of Sexually Abusing a Minor Again – LAPD Ignored 1999 Allegations

Director, Bryan Singer
Director, Bryan Singer

Photo via Facebook

X-Men director Bryan Singer faces allegations that he sexually abused a 15 year old boy in a lawsuit filed in federal court Wednesday. The suit alleges that Singer forcibly sodomized Michael Egan (now in his 30s), when he was 15 and that they had numerous sexual encounters over the next two years. The suit describes parties at a California mansion where drugs and liquor were used to take advantage of young boys sexually.

The lawsuit is quite graphic in describing the main incident, stating that Singer plied the plaintiff drugs and alcohol in order to allegedly sexually and psychologically abuse Egan.


“…an alcoholic beverage . . . and mentioned finding a role for him in an upcoming movie that he was directing.. Defendant Singer solicited plaintiff to perform oral sex upon him, which plaintiff resisted…Singer flagrantly disregarded plaintiff’s unwillingness to submit, and forced plaintiff’s head underwater to make plaintiff perform oral sex upon him. When plaintiff pulled his head out of the water in order to breathe, defendant Singer demanded that he continue which plaintiff refused…Defendant Singer then forced plaintiff to continue performing oral sex upon him outside of the pool, and subsequently forcibly sodomized plaintiff.”

A lawyer for Singer issued a statement which states in part,

“The claims made against Bryan Singer are completely without merit… We are very confident that Bryan will be vindicated in this absurd and defamatory lawsuit.”

Egan’s lawyer is Jeff Herman, known for bringing suit against Elmo puppeteer, Kevin Clash.  He stated,

“Hollywood has a problem with the sexual exploitation of children…This is the first of many cases I will be filing to give these victims a voice and to expose the issue.”


While Singer has not been directly accused of abuse of a minor before, there were allegations of inappropriate handling of minor actors’ nudity on the set of Singer’s film, Apt Pupil,  wherein three young actors were allegedly told to disrobe completely for a scene without warning. The actors’ families brought a lawsuit against the production company that was later settled. It’s important to note that the LAPD was made aware of the accusations back in 1999, as per Variety’s article.

While this suit has not yet gone to court it is just the latest in a long line of tales of Hollywood star-makers leveraging their power over young people to exploit them sexually and emotionally. Going back to the Roman Polanski incident in the 70s, it seems that the casting couch has become even more insidious for minors. Drugs, liquor and promises of fame are used to oppress and abuse these children and youths when they are far from willing participants.

For years there have been whispers that a certain Nickelodeon mega hit producer has allegedly sexually victimized many of the stars of his shows. Power corrupts, but it seems if even a fraction of the stories that slip out are true, the people in power in Hollywood were probably pretty damn corrupt when they got to power.  Not helping the abusive culture are many of the stage parents who seem more than willing to whore their children out to ride the fame they may get in return.

Marc Collins-Rector's 2007 Mugshot
Marc Collins-Rector’s 2007 Mugshot


Also disturbing is the naming of Marc Collins-Rector, former chairman of the Digital Entertainment Network, in the Singer suit as well. Collins-Rector has been convicted of sexual crimes against minors in the past according to Variety.  Even if Singer is cleared of the accusations there is some level of guilt by association that has to be questioned.  Who knows that these  go on? Everyone? If so, those who don’t stop them are just as guilty as the perpetrators themselves.

Let it be noted, that a handful of folks in Hollywood are referring to these most recent accusations of abuse as nothing more than a “shakedown“.  I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

What are your thoughts? Innocent until proven guilty? Or is Hollywood (and everyone involved, past and present) merely sweeping sexual abuse under the red carpet once again?

‘Mystery Science Theater 3000’ Celebrates 25th Anniversary With A Box Set – My Head Just Exploded



So, when I named my blog ‘Dipped in Cream‘, I thought I was being super clever and cute. It’s named after my boxer, James. When he was a baby (I never say “puppy“), every morning I would tell him “your toes were dipped in cream! Oh, yes they were! in the most irritating baby talk ever. Naturally, most of you never knew what the eff the blog name meant–and maybe some of you didn’t, until today! I usually got some crass verbal-rib-elbowing about how porn-y the name sounds. I do have a point to all this. Just hold your ponies.

MST3K 25th Anniversary Box Set!


My point IS: I was chatting with Krystal about all these box sets coming out all at one time (big surprise during the holidays, right?) and how we need to make more money.  First Breaking Bad’s million dollar box set, now MST3K: 25th Anniversary Limited Edition Box Set?

Crow, Joel and Tom Servo
Crow, Joel and Tom Servo


Out Tuesday, the five-DVD MST3K: 25th Anniversary Edition set features the films Moon Zero Two,The Day The Earth Froze, The Leech Woman and Gorgo and is packed with extras including the three-part documentary Return To Eden Prairie: 25 Years Of Mystery Science Theater 3000, Life After MST3K: Mary Jo Pehl, Ninth Wonder Of The World: The Making Of Gorgo (MST3K Edition)and Last Flight Of Joel Robinson, plus MST Hour wraps and four exclusive mini-posters by artist Steve Vance. The collectible tin also includes a bonus DVD with a double feature of two long-out-of-print fan-favorite episodes — Joel’s last episode, Mitchell, and Mike’s first episode, The Brain That Wouldn’t Die.

HONESTLY. What are we supposed to DO?  The answer is clear. I guess we’ll have to start some sort of illicit activities in order to pay for these goodies, because Lort knows, no one is gonna buy  ’em for us. Maybe one of those awesome phone-lines that advertise at 2 a.m. on Friday nights? Welcome to the Dipped In Cream Whorehouse. (Ew.) Yes. It’s come to this in order to pay for our nerdy-habits. I guess I should inform the other writers.