Category Archives: ANTM

America’s Next Top Model Recap – Guest Tyler Perry

ANTM – College Edition


This week on America’s Next Top Model, Tyra came up with some SUPER-batshit ideas and had the contestants do a bunch of weird stuff, and everyone argued with one another. So basically, it was more or less just like every other episode.

Equipped with “special guest” Tyler Perry and his infinite range and knowledge of the acting world, Tyra had the girls complete a challenge in which they were assigned a character and sent out into the public to embrace said character and interact with random people at the 3rd Street Promenade in Santa Monica. This was especially entertaining being the character choices were either a tourist, a rapper, a diva or a street performer. And even more so because Tyra, along with Perry, sat in a undisclosed location and fed lines for the girls to repeat to strangers through an ear piece. (You know, like David Letterman used to do and now Ellen does and acts like she started it when in reality, Steve Allen started the whole bit a million years ago? Yeah. That one.)

Overall, I’d just say it’s a good thing these girls are models and not actresses. Most notable, of course, was Victoria as an erratic diva, stalking up and down the street yelling for everyone to stop looking at her. Perhaps she was playing a little too close to character? Still, nothing was more entertaining than when her persona decided to approach a homeless man, dramatically offering him food whilst screaming “I am a philanthropist!” and he threw it back in her face. I guess he wasn’t as hungry as he looked. Not enough to deal with her crazy bullshit anyway.

We also saw a lot more camera time for a girl named Kristin this week, who came into the competition proudly informing everyone that she’s always been a mean girl and got suspended from high school multiple times for physical violence. What an accomplishment. Luckily for us, as well as the casting agents, Kristin has played true to form and continues to parade around the house yelling at everyone who so much as speaks to her and lamenting about how hard it is to be pretty. Yawn.¬†Kristin has also flat-out stated that her plan to win the competition is to taunt all the other girls until they get angry enough to to hit her so that they’ll just be kicked off. I hope at least one girl falls for her scheme, because I strongly believe that Kristin could benefit from a good beat-down.

Try as I might, I remain underwhelmed by most of the girls this cycle, but fascinated with Victoria. And by fascinated, I mean completely disturbed and intrigued by this chick.¬† For a minute in last week’s episode, she came across as normal and I toyed with the idea of actually even liking her… until she called her mom on the phone and started sobbing with excitement again. This week, Victoria stayed true to her crazy and didn’t disappoint. When speaking about her best picture win, she mentioned to the other girls that the moment she won, the first thing she thought about was her mother. You know, the one she gets all the emotional support she needs from so she doesn’t think she needs a relationship?

Oh, Allysa

I think one of the other contestants, Allyssa, summed it up best when she said, “Whatever. You miss your mom. You are attached to her dick. If she lets go, she’s going to die. We get it.”¬† I assume Victoria isn’t planning on letting go of her mother’s dick anytime soon. And similarly, I don’t plan on letting go of hers.