Song Of The Day: Kendrick Lamar ‘I’

 

Since you’re probably in need of a good pick me up on a dreary Tuesday. Kendrick Lamar released the official video for “I” last week, and even if you’re still not really feeling the song, the video will definitely make you want to dance.

 

Kendrick travels through Los Angeles, getting hype at a couple of a parties, sitting down to have his hair twisted and even pulling a Joker in the backseat of a car. He also runs into Ronald Isley along the way, the song heavily samples The Isley Brothers‘ “That Lady.” In a recent radio interview with Houston’s 93.7 The Beat, Lamar said that the song came from a place of depression and insecurity. Maybe the feel-good, energetic clip will get fans to reconsider the song, which is pretty great.

His next single is rumored to be called “King Kunta,” and we could hear his next album at the tail end of this year, or early next near. So, what do you think of the video?

It’s All Good – Sexual Fantasies: A Playground for Your Pleasure

 

BLINDFOLD

 

For my second column I was going to start delving into specific topics but then this article passed through my social media feed, “When It Comes to Sexual Fantasies, What’s Normal?”

 

Hmmm…normal, really, that’s the word we want to use there?

 

Since this touches on a number of topics I may cover as we go, I decided to address this right up front. So what is “normal” when it comes to sexual fantasies?

 

collar 

Anything. Seriously, anything. I said everything was okay as long as you were comfortable with it, right? Well, in fantasy you can go even further and play with things you may well not be comfortable with in real life. Which is the important thing to focus on in this study, no matter how poorly worded it is. If you think the things that get you aroused are odd or weird or perverse, you just need to remember you’re not the only one who likes them; just because you like to watch things or read things that seem out of the ordinary, it doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you.

 

Fantasy is a safe zone. It can take you away to a different place where you feel safer and bolder than you are in real life. It can let you investigate things that intrigue you but that you would find too intimidating to try. Fantasies of dominance, submission, bondage and discipline are far more common than you think. It may mean this is something that speaks to a deeper part of you, but that part may be well served by reading a hot erotic novel or some fanfic and then letting your partner reap the benefits of your fantasies without ever having to indulge them.

 

blindfold seat

 

It may also be a way to dip your toe in the water of something that secretly excites you but scares the living hell out of you too. A way of pushing your own boundaries safely, without external pressures. If there is one thing I keep coming back to it’s that your sexuality should always be under your control, even if you’re relinquishing it by choice.

 

So if sex is how adults play, fantasy is the indoor playground you visit on rainy days. A place to try something different on for size. You may find you like it or you may find you hate it, but because it’s all within the realm of your own mind, there is never any harm done.

 

So go play, it’s good for you.

twirl

 

Lupita Nyong’o Covers Glamour Magazine’s December Issue – Named Woman of the Year

Academy Award winning actress, and DiC girlfriend, Lupita Nyong’o graces the December cover of Glamour magazine. She was crowned the mag’s ‘Woman Of The Year and what a year it has been for her. She of course received accolades and awards for her star turning performance as Patsy in ‘12 Years A Slave,’ and next we will see her in a galaxy far, far away the next installment of the ‘Star Wars‘ franchise.

Photographed by Tom Munro, Nyong’o sports a couple of fab looks, including the chic white top by The Row for the cover, a colorful number by Christopher Kane and a mini Miu Miu dress. After becoming a red carpet favorite during awards season, a lot of attention was paid to her sartorial choices and the term The Lupita Effect was coined, but she takes things like that all in stride.

I giggle. I just heard it for the first time. I’ve heard people talk about images in popular culture changing, and that makes me feel great, because it means that the little girl I was, once upon a time, has an image to instill in her that she is beautiful, that she is worthy—that she can… Until I saw people who looked like me, doing the things I wanted to, I wasn’t so sure it was a possibility.”

With a commitment to changing beauty standards, Lupita has become a role model and she cites women like Oprah Winfrey for helping her to believe that she could be an actress.

Oprah played a big role in my understanding of what it meant to be female and to really step into your own power. I wouldn’t even call her a role model; she was literally a reference point. You have the dictionary, you have the Bible, you have Oprah.

You can see more of Lupita, and read the rest of her interview when the issue hits newsstands November 11.